I am a dark-skinned girl who love myself for who I am Realising that I do not have to abide by the existing ideologies of beauty because I have my own means to see the richness of my complexion and the strength and beauty within me. Well, I have only got this wisdom post-teen. Nonetheless, i’m gleeful that I at least am relieved from the atrocious burden that most dark-skinned people, especially women are being placed with-around the world!
Few years ago, as an adolescent, one soul-stirring issue I had was my skin-tone. From childhood, I had sort of complexity in regard to me being dark. To be precise, “dark skin is ugly!” was my logic! Let me share a weird secret with you. Until I was in my early teens, I used to avoid drinking chocolate flavoured milk or ice-cream, the reason being I believed that would make me even darker! (It’s a separate story that I loved eating chocolates :P). Isn’t it a calamity for a little girl of that age to be this mindful of her skin not getting darker?!
It is indeed an unfortunate reality that skin colour affects the way you experience the world! There are sufficient research studies that reveal the pitiful fact that skin-tone plays powerful role in who gets ahead and who doesn’t. It is most distressing that a girl being dark is considered as an ailment in the market of matrimony.
In my case,
“You’re pretty being dark-skinned”
or
“You have sharp features for a dark-skinned girl”
were some comments I often heard growing up. Unfortunately, since I was lacking self-esteem and longing for acceptance, I took this as a compliment, only to later realize that lighter skin are treated with a higher regard than those with darker skin.
Lately, I began working on my self-esteem. Gradually I cleared the space within me. It required me a lot of reading on this subject. What I understood is, darker skin is very much adapted to sun rays and as everyone knows, it is the amount of melanin that decides your complexion. More melanin is indeed safer because it protects your skin from harmful radiation. Besides I also became surprisingly and worryingly aware of the fact that colourism is a dilemma in black (African) community too!
We are all part of a system in which there is a set standard of beauty – A system that promotes self-hate by virtue of skin-tone. There is an unconscious mindset that determines what gets promoted as beautiful and desirable, and sadly in that mindset the idea of dark-skinned beauty is a very rare thing!
All fairness cream ads are curse to the society no ifs ands and buts about it. I get annoyed by the ads that endorse skin-lightening creams, for they portray dark-skinned as unhappy, unpleasant, aggressive and what not – when we are not! I would be delighted the day all the fairness cream companies shut down! Media plays a major role in deluging public with products that claim to make your skin fairer.
There is this weird myth that darker people are terrific compared to lighter skinned people. In the ancient Indian epic “Ramayana” itself, Aryans (lighter-skinned people) are characterised as godly, while Dravidians (darker-skinned people) are described as devilish. To be black is to be primitive, backward, inferior, dirty, ugly, evil, devilish, deviant, corrupt and unappealing, while to be white is to be virtuous, beautiful, refined, humane, intelligent and godly. They say in a Tamil movie, “vellaiya irukkavanga poi sollamatanga!” – meaning lighter-skinned people would not lie!
I watch a lot of cinema. Indian movies, particularly Tamil movies. Whenever a tan-toned actress makes her debut in a movie, I get excited for she somewhat represents my skin-tone. Lamentably, that actress would appear with lighter skin in her next movie, which immensely disappoints me!
We see women and also men who use skin lightening products on a regular basis. Nowadays skin-lightening is very common too. Don’t you think that it is also a sign of a much intense issue – Self-hatred. In my stance, people who use skin-lightening products and who undergo skin-whitening treatments are those who lack self-esteem or rather who do not adore themselves.
I understand that the deeply ingrained biases about skin colours, particularly dark-skinned women and towering endorsements for skin-whitening products are creating mental stress to dark-skinned women. Nonetheless, I also understand that it is not a disease or something to be ashamed of! Being ashamed of how you look or where you belong to is being ashamed of your genes, your parents, their struggles and even their existence.
I do not feel inferior to fair girls anymore. I am not conscious of my looks while talking to boys. Today I am at peace with all that. The only ugly things in the world are thoughts and actions that hurt others!
I know, freeing ourselves from them won’t happen overnight or that easily but it is possible. We will have to mould our own future, free from the curbs of colourism.
Be proud of your dark-skin.
Every girl is pretty!
Author
Janaga Sivapalan
B.Sc in Business Management (Hons)